My Trip to the Gynaecologist

My husband and I have been trying to conceive a child. I went to the Gynaecologist yesterday, eager to find out if there was good news. The doc sent me to do a blood test and an ultrasound . . .

Let me give you some of my medical history. I have something called polycystic ovarian syndrome. This means I have cysts on my ovaries, which love the things I love – pastries, French fries, cakes and cookies, and what these cysts do, is become bigger when there are too much of these sweet and salty things. Cysts on the ovaries can reduce the chances of a woman conceiving. These cysts have messed up my bodily functions – caused weight gain, weight loss, hair fall (from my head), hair growth (not on the head mind you, but on my chin and face), mood swings, and more.

But things have been regular for me, until this month. I was travelling extensively the last six weeks, so I wasn’t sure if it was that, or if I could be pregnant. Eagerly I sat, waiting for the ultrasound to tell me what I wanted to hear. I slowly told the doctor doing the ultrasound that my husband and I were trying, and we were hoping I was pregnant.

He responded, “No, it's just cysts.”

JUST CYSTS?! Oh, the male species who know not the troubles of cysts on the ovaries! Since an ultrasound requires that you have a full bladder, I excused myself quickly afterwards and went to the washroom, where I started to cry. I was sad that I wasn’t pregnant, and that it was probably the cysts. It broke my heart because I wanted so badly to be pregnant.

As I cried, the voice of Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston sang loudly in my head. They were singing “There can be miracles . . . when you believe” from the movie Prince of Egypt. This was a song we had sung when I was part of the college choir in Bangalore. The movie’s soundtrack version of the song has a lyric sung in Hebrew by children, which was my favourite part of the song. So I started singing the Hebrew words, not realising what they meant. So I googled the words and here is what I found:

A-shi-ra La-do-nai ki ga-oh ga-ah
(I will sing to the Lord, for he has triumphed gloriously)
A-shi-ra La-do-nai ki ga-oh ga-ah
(I will sing to the Lord, for he has triumphed gloriously)
Mi-kha-mo-kha ba-elim A-do-nai
(Who is like You, oh Lord, among the celestial)
Mi-kha-mo-kha ne-dar- ba-ko-desh
(Who is like You, majestic in holiness)
Na-hi-tah ve-has-de-kha am-zu ga-al-ta
(In Your love, You lead the people You redeemed)
Na-hi-tah ve-has-de-kha am-zu ga-al-ta
(In Your love, You lead the people You redeemed)
A-shi-ra, a-shi-ra, a-shi-ra
(I will sing, I will sing, I will sing)

It hit me that having a child was really nothing in comparison to the joy of being redeemed by God. So, whether I conceive a child or not, I will sing, for he has triumphed over my circumstance to give His name glory. There is no one like God – not my husband, not any baby, or anything, for God is majestic and holy. Despite His holiness, God has chosen to redeem me and so, barren or with child, I will sing.

The thing about polycystic ovarian syndrome is that it is something women have to live with. It never really leaves our ovaries. But it can be controlled through a change in lifestyle. Doctors suggest exercise and dietary regulations to control the effect of the cysts.

Cysts on the ovaries are a lot like sin, which keeps coming back, but its power can be diminished! God insists on a change in lifestyle, by feasting our hearts on His word daily and exercising daily repentance. This is exactly what it says in James 4:7–8:

“Submit yourselves, then, to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you. Come near to God and he will come near to you.”

Coming near to God is the only way to make the devil flee and protect our hearts from sin. Though the presence of sin cannot be removed yet, its power over us diminishes as we allow God’s power over us to increase – as we submit to God by reading His word and praying, and as we draw near to Him, He draws near to us. Jesus, God’s firstborn, was sacrificed, and took the place of my cysts sins, so when I draw near to Him, my heart undergoes a surgery of sin removal through repentance. The presence of sin will finally be removed when Jesus returns, but in the meantime, daily time with God is heart surgery that keeps us going till that day.

No cysts or sin can stop God from unfolding His plan to establish His kingdom on earth. So, this is my hope, that God would help my body overcome this polycystic ovarian syndrome. But this is my assurance, that whether or not I can conceive, God is daily birthing something new in me, which overcomes the poly-sin syndrome of my life, and leads to new birth. God redeems, God triumphs, and so I will sing.

If you want to hear the song Miracles from the movie, Prince of Egypt, here it is: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lCteJY1-Zkk

Photo Credit : Unsplash

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Roshni Mathew

Roshni is a full time wife and mother who lives in Mumbai with her husband and daughter. They are a part of New City Church, Mumbai where they worship and serve. Roshni loves cooking, the colour purple and travelling.

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