When we left the hospital with three premature babies after an extended stint in the NICU, I naively thought we had put all their medical issues behind us. Little did I know it was just the beginning. Over the years, our kids have faced multiple health crises requiring ER visits for soaring fevers, severe wheezing, head lacerations, and seizures.
The scariest was when each of our boys (at different ages) stopped breathing. God graciously revived them, but the experience left me anxious for years. I would touch their chests while they slept to ensure they were still breathing. I obsessively monitored their temperature and freaked out if it didn’t go down with medication.
There were other incidents when our sons had profusely bleeding head injuries and needed to get their scalps stapled! For years, I wouldn’t let them play rough because I was scared we would end up in the ER again.
In some seasons, we couldn’t go a week without any of the boys falling sick. Their ill health became a trigger for me to question God’s love and faithfulness over His children. I didn’t realise that through these health crises, God was healing the cracks in my own faith.
Here are three ways our boys’ health crises have shaped my faith, especially in challenging situations.
We can do all that’s humanly possible to treat sickness, but when nothing works, I am left clinging to God. When I get so anxious that I start pacing, I remind myself to turn my worries into prayers and trust that God hears.
On the many occasions when healing had been delayed, I trusted that God would give me the grace I needed to make it through each day. And He never failed. When I was running ragged, tending to three sick boys around the clock, God always provided just enough strength to sustain me.
I know that sickness is inevitable in this fallen world. But I have the privilege of clinging on to God through the difficult days. I can’t imagine going through life without Him by my side.
Sickness may be inevitable, but so is God’s healing. I’ve learned that sometimes God does heal miraculously and instantaneously. Other times, He uses doctors and medication to bring about the healing. And sadly, there are times when healing does not happen on this earth, but God’s children are healed and made whole when they meet Him face to face. One way or the other, God is a Healer, and He will heal.
A mother’s tender heart breaks when she cannot alleviate the suffering of her children. In the past, I’ve blamed God for His inaction—for not healing my boys when I wanted Him to. Now, I remind myself that He loves my people so much more than I possibly can.
When the boys were little, I read the book Anything by Jennie Allen—it just about wrecked me. I was led to surrender my boys back to the Lord who gave them to me and trust Him with their health, their wellbeing, and their life.
Yes, I still pray for healing, but I also trust that God, in His infinite wisdom, sometimes allows a fever to linger or takes time to bring about wholeness.
When my teens fall sick or have accidents that rush us to the ER, it still triggers traumatic memories. But I’m learning to focus on God's goodness and faithfulness rather than the chaos that threatens to overwhelm my mind.
And somehow, God’s grace is sufficient for each day, and the peace that floods my soul allows me to rest in the knowledge that He is still on the throne and completely in control!
Photo by Marcelo Leal on Unsplash
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So lovely akka ! Much need as my kid is just 3 year old !!! Thank you for reminding us God is our only hope during sickness and all the time !